Thursday, December 26, 2002

All the Time in the World

Suddenly, while taking a break on this day one afternoon, after hours of meditation on day one of a seven day retreat, there seems to be all the time in the world to attain Enlightenment. In fact, there is the feeling that there is too much time- too much for comfort. It is disturbing that the retreat feels too long in the first day. It really highlights two facts- that I have been procrastinating progress while being impatient at the same time. It's a paradox. Maybe I shouldn't be taking this break now, to think these thoughts and just do it and lose the illusion of time. Feeling the retreat to be too long also means I'm already longing to get back to worldly life. But here I am now. And all these nonsense about wanting out is nonsense indeed. This is none other than training- going against and thus breaking the grain of habit. Not the usual case of too much to do given too little time. Here at the retreat is the case of only one thing to do given ample time to have no excuses not to do it well. That one thing is to meditate well and to be as mindful as possible at all times. Feeling that I have too much time also means I find the sitting a drag. Back to basics- take and live one moment at a time. If there is indeed too much time in the world, I would be attaining Enlightenment by the fifth or sixth day? Er... not an impossibility... we'll see how haha. Or at least, I would have improved by leaps and bounds.

Whether in a retreat or not, we have all the time in the world . We have already taken countless lives with countless opportunities for retreats and regular practice. This is an admonition, not words of comfort- if you see what I mean. JoinMailingList4LatestUpdates/Reply

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