Sunday, February 02, 2003

Marriage Commitment

I used to think that the custom of holding lavish Chinese wedding dinners, which invite lots of relatives and friends is a way of announcing, not so much of two people’s mutual commitment to each other, but to the whole wide world (at least, their social worlds). The more trouble you go through personally to arrange for the dinner, the more you are committed. That was till May gave me an alternative viewpoint. Real commitment need not be expressed in a ceremony. Ceremonies however, can help to foster commitment in the moment. Is that oxymoronic? Commitments are supposed to be lasting; not lasting only for a moment. Well… occasions like dinners might “enforce” commitment unknowingly to the couple! Here we have the paradox of the significance of ritual. The truly committed do not mind commitment rituals. But neither do they truly need them. On the other hand, the uncommitted or half-hearted frets commitment rituals to some extent. If so, should they go through the rituals at all? I guess that is why they need to make that leap of faith in their “commitment to be committed” by going through the test of the ritual… though it is, as we have discussed, not a foolproof test! The rites of life will be important till the day the world is free from unsure hearts- both of those committing themselves and those witnessing their formal commitment. By the way, the above applies to all rituals in life, including taking the threefold refuge. JoinMailingList4LatestUpdates/Reply

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