Saturday, October 12, 2002

Love & Marriage

Shyai: My gran and ma are not very happily married. Is this a sign?

Shiqin: We all have our own karma to deal with. What makes you so sure yours will be the same as your family's? Then again, there is some common collective karma that binds family members together- that's why you are together as a family in the first place. But then again, we can all break free of karma since everything is dynamic. This very thought itself, of their "fate" as a "sign" might be a karmic obstacle to you wanting a relationship now. But you don't have to project your future based on your family's past history. We should learn from history and move on, not be hampered by it, and create our own "history."

Fate is in our hands; but for the unenlightened, it is not totally so- in the sense that we have yet to fully understand the workings of karma totally to take total control, to turn its negative tides. Thus, we might unwittingly suffer the payback of some bad karma, be it of individual or collective nature.

So what am I saying? The idea is to always get more enlightened- whether you want a relationship or not- in order to master your karma and life by doing the right things to deserve love. But the funny thing is the more enlightened you get, the less you might yearn for a love relationship. Either way is fine isn't it?

We should learn to be happy of whatever state we are in now, with or without a lover. For how can anyone ever rush love? It is a seed hidden in us. When the right conditions are present, love blossoms. Just be open, be happy... and the world will know you have a wonderful seed. That is good enough. We should think of love that comes to us as a bonus- every drop of rain that falls, every ray of sunlight that shines, on our seed of love. How blessed we will feel if we appreciate it with joy!

How lacking in love can we be, if we love more instead of wanting to be loved more? How much more lovely to others will we be if we are more loving than wanting to be loved? The only true way to attract true love is to be more loving. reply

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