Birthday Boy's Blues

It's about an hour an a half past my birthday...
the first tendency is to think of celebration,
but the second tendency is to ask what is there to celebrate about.

I then reflect...
and it is always the same conclusion...
I don't think I progressed fast enough in the past year
to save myself,
so as to save others
from suffering.

My birthdays
have the solemnness of a wake.
A wake where I wake up,
from lying too dead too long
in my spiritual life.

In this sense,
this is not exactly a happy birthday.
But I wish myself still,
"Happy Birthday! Next time!"
May my next birthday be happy indeed,
without this annual lamenting,
without these blues so blue. reply