Saturday, September 21, 2002


Something I wrote on 17/8/02. Some parts are no longer relevant!

Went to see "Unfaithful" alone last Thursday.
Felt a little strange- like a secret rendezvous with a stranger on the silver screen in the dark.
No one else knowing I'm here watching an affair in action seems to be an affair in action!

I needed to see it somehow.
Needed to see how someone becomes unfaithful to her significant other.
Needed to reflect on whether I might ever be unfaithful.
(I'm not married though)

The conclusion I have is that
it is so easy, so "natural" to unmindfully become unfaithful.
As easily as how it easily leads to so much suffering.
A lie that can lead to the chain-breaking of all other precepts!

I have never been unfaithful and do not intend to be.
In fact, I am thinking of not ever possibly becoming unfaithful
by not ever being faithful to one person by committment of love.
Not so that I can flirt,
but so that I can befriend many,
without ever feeling answerable to one person,
without ever fearing one person's jealousy.

I want to have faith that this can be done.
"Reach out, touch faith- Your own personal Jesus."
So sings Depeche Mode in their One Night in Paris concert DVD on this notebook now.
I want to be my own personal Jesus, personal Messiah, saviour.
But I also wish to be others' personal Jesus, Bodhisattva, best I can-
should they need one.

Before we can have faith in anyone,
we need to have faith in ourselves-
to trust that we are worthy of the Bodhisattvas' kindness.
Do not ever be unfaithful then-
to yourself, someone, or the Bodhisattvas-
for it would be a matter of letting the whole universe down.

Out of 5 stars, I give "Unfaithful" * * * * 1/2 reply

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